Perfect Record

I think I have a cavity. In my mouth. I say "think" because I've never had one, (appropriate pause to allow you to mentally applaud me for such stellar dental hygiene). I've never had a cavity, that is essentially an A+ in life, by the way. I think I have a cavity and I don't think I am going to do anything about it. I think I have a cavity and I don't think I am going to do anything about it because I have a perfect record, (A+ in life!), for not having cavities and going to the dentist and being told that I do indeed have a cavity, aside from being about as much fun as being punched in the face, would also ruin my perfect record.

It doesn't hurt all the time. It actually rarely hurts. Only when I bite down in exactly the right spot does it hurt. And then it feels like someone is branding "You no longer have a perfect record. Hahahaha, here is your first cavity!" on my gum with a lava-hot branding iron. Is that what a cavity feels like?

Maybe it's a pinched nerve. A pinched nerve only hurts when you twist a certain way, right? I see no reason as to why this couldn't be a pinched nerve in my mouth.

The way I see it these are my options: go to the dentist, be told I have a cavity, get a filling and lose forever the pride and dignity of being an adult and never having had a cavity. OR, don't go to the dentist, retain my pride and glory and one day, probably somewhere in public where it'd be terribly embarrassing, have rotting pieces of my mouth fall out of my face.

I'm going to have to sleep on this one.