Assertive, AKA Bitchy...?

There was an interesting article about bullying in the workplace in the NY Times recently.

Apparently times like these, times when the economy is in the crapper, are when lady-folk "sharpen their elbows and ratchet up their attacks." (She's a man eater....).

I was initially really irritated about said bullies; and agreed with the reporter and those quoted in the article. It's true, how can women, who have been fighting for generations for equal treatment in both the workplace and the world at large treat each other with such disdain and ugliness? "How can women break through the glass ceiling if they are ducking verbal blows from other women in cubicles, hallways and conference rooms?" Women can be great wenches, that is for sure.

This article was an account of specific situations where women were bullied in the workplace by other women and an analysis of why women act this way (fight or flight). (And some reasoning as to why we should not act this way: because we are nurturing and undulate love and warmth and rainbows wherever we go.)

But...

Women have been fighting tooth and nail for equality in the workplace, for the jobs that have been traditionally given to men; they've been competing for generations against men. Isn't it possible that women are not being bullies specifically to other women, but they are simply being assertive and career-focus, a deviation from the normal nurturing and rapport-building behavior women "typically" embody. The assertive and "go-got-'em" attitude of many men in the workplace is seen as proactive and goal oriented, but in women it is are seen as vicious and cutthroat.

Newsflash: Women are vicious and cutthroat, but women are also nurturing and rainbow-undulating. Ask any father, boyfriend, husband or brother and they will tell you women are complicated. A woman can bark orders all day at her employees and then go home at the end of the day, make chicken and dumplings for her family and then sing her children to sleep. That's just common sense...

(From the article: "Women don’t like to talk about it because it is 'so antithetical to the way that we are supposed to behave to other women,' Ms. Klaus said. 'We are supposed to be the nurturers and the supporters.'")

It's a double edged sword; am I a bully because I don't think being assertive, prepared and eager is bad?